I didn’t write on this blog over the holidays because of two reasons.
1. I wanted a real vacation from writing and being stuck in my head.
2.
is complicated and is the reason for
this post.
I love Christmas songs/carols. They
always brighten the festive feel of the time of year and help when stress tries
to worm its way into my brain and take precedence. But this past Christmas something was
different. Beginning near the end of November I realized that the songs weren’t
hitting the mark they way they usually did for me. This time the songs weren’t
working, especially when I heard John Lennon’s “And So This is Christmas.” Usually
I love this song, I know all the words, I always sing along and imagine that we
really don’t WANT war anymore. But every time I heard it this past season I just
got mad. I couldn’t understand why, at first. Why I wasn’t rejoicing in the
season—and remember, this was before the Newtown tragedy (which only made me
feel worse)—until I thought about what those songs/carols were about.
Why do we play these songs on the
radio when we so clearly aren’t striving for these kinds of tragedies “to be
over?” War still marches on, all over our planet in all kinds of guises. People
still kill one another for whatever reason they believe is justifiable. Religion
seems to be part of the problem (think “holy wars or crusades” and “If you’re
not with us, you’re against us”), but not all of it. No, to over simplify
(maybe, but it IS a HUGE reason), Greed is the reason. Greed to have whatever
it is “us”/“they” think we/they need/want/deserve.
I felt the tragedy of broken
dreams in this past holiday more clearly than the joy: the hypocrisy of it, the
lie of it, the lip service that we won’t put action to.
Don’t get me wrong, I loved
spending time with my family and loved ones. That is always a blessing to me no
matter what. But this season I became aware of how lucky I was to have the
money to drive to see them, buy them presents, and drink to their health and
longevity. How lucky I am to have a life that is good and, in these days,
plentiful in the sense that I’m not living in a war zone or starving, or enduring
a horrible tragedy. To this day I grieve for those who lost a part or parts of
themselves in Newtown. I know they will grieve forever. Christmas will never be
the same for them again. For me either, but in a different way. My head is out
of the preverbal sand. I can’t pretend anymore when I hear Christmas songs that
next year everyone might “see the light.” I’m sorry to have lost my “innocent”
wonder of, and joy in, those lovely songs and carols, and their meanings, but I’m
even sorrier for the reasons behind that loss. 
Am I depressed about this? Yes
and no. I still have my life to live, as do we all. My resolution then, for
2013, is not about losing weight or being a better person or getting another
book published (well those are in there too). But those resolutions now come after
my first goal, which is to remember “More is not always Better,” and to be
compassionate, to judge less and to help those in need around me, to send what
I can to charities I know do the good works that John Lennon sings about in his
song, and to remember that “my world” is not the only “world” on this planet. I
need to remember, we ALL need to remember that others lives and customs are
different from ours and we shouldn’t make decisions for them without knowing
what those lives and customs are. In other words, “Judge not another person until
you walk a mile in their shoes.” Maybe by December of this year I’ll listen to
my favorite Christmas songs and carols and once again feel their magic. Maybe,
but I’m not going to hold my breath.
Images from:
No comments:
Post a Comment
Thank you so much for commenting on my blog. I may not always be able to respond to the comments you leave, however, I appreciate you dropping by and will do my best to visit your blog as well, if you have one!