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I know this probably isn't what our lovey Aussie host had in mind this month, but this was the mood I was in! Hope you all enjoy it. 620 word count. Make sure click on the link below the photo to visit the other blogs for more great stories...
Coyote slunk down to watch the three deer cross the high
trail. Alone, as usual, he surveyed carefully and kept his ears alert to any
sound, his nose to any scent. He didn’t need any bears or wolves to surprise
him while he hunted this mother and her two offspring. He only needed one baby.
Experience had taught him that the weaker prey yielded easier, tastier dinners,
if one could avoid the mother. Coyote knew himself to be smart, more apt than
the others in his pack and so he hunted alone and never shared with anyone.
Idiots all of them, he often thought to himself.
Coyote crouched, still, like a desert pine, waiting for the
right moment. The three deer moved past the high trail and, not catching his
scent, fairly moseyed toward the barren expanse just past the growth of stunted
pines in which he hid. Muzzles to the ground, they rooted for anything worth
nibbling on, ambling close to each other, yet not too close for him to take a
chance. He had to watch for the mother’s hooves, which were sharp and could cut
and bruise him.
There, now, the smaller of the two young ones had moved
almost within range. Coyote tensed, focused his senses. He ignored the rest of
the world, fading it out until all that remained was the small spotted piece of
meat now approaching on brittle spindly legs, which held juicy marrow in their
slender bones. Coyote trembled with anticipation. He inched his paws forward
just a tad, his haunches wound tight, ready to spring. Just a little closer. He
spared a glance at the mother. She raised her head, quick, like a darting
rabbit, and stared right at him. Frozen, as he was, her shiny doe-eyes pierced
his concentration as if to say, ‘I see you. Don’t even think about it.’ Yet he
knew he was invisible to her. He had to be. He was downwind from her. He lay so
low his belly scrubbed the clutter dropped by scrappy pines and other debris.
When she continued to stare, when she didn’t move even one
eyelash, Coyote tore his gaze from the mother and concentrated again on the young
one now even closer to him. It was now or never. One second he scrunched his
muscles into full spring mode, the next a heavy weight landed on his back
pinning him to the ground. A great roar shook the world, made the short trees
tremble, the clouds in the blue sky shudder. Animal dander, the heavy scent of
thick fur and pungent odor of bear invaded his senses. How had he not noticed
it before? That could have been his last thought, but the weight lifted
slightly and Coyote rolled to one side before the great rough paw could pin him
again.
Deer forgotten, Coyote scampered away, and then plowed into
a full run, getting as far from the horrible bear as possible. Later, when he
slowed at what he hoped was a safe distance from the mistake that had almost
cost him his scrabby life, Coyote turned to look behind him. No bear lumbering
after him. But no deer either. The tantalizing image of the young deer, so very
close to him only moments ago, made his stomach growl. He took one tentative
step back the way he had come, and trod on a scorpion that promptly stung his
ankle. Backing away and shaking his leg
at the same time, he put his back to the scrubby pines along the high trail and
the dinner that might have been. Oh well, he thought, that’s the way it goes
sometimes. Some chances just weren’t worth taking.
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That was a surprise at the end, to me and the coyote. I think it's a different twist on our human idea of taking chances. Ours chances don't usually include our dinner. For Coyote, it was his dinner or his life. . .
ReplyDeleteVery nice, Lisa.
Thanks so much DG! I agree, at least in this country...
DeleteLisa, I never have a particular idea in mind when I think of a theme, as usually, not always, everyone comes up with something different. I just think...that's a cool prompt, then puzzle over it for weeks.
ReplyDeleteLove this take on the prompt. I think you enjoyed writing this and it flows well. Very realistic. I admit I kept wondering if Coyote was a human or animal.
Thanks for a great flash.
Denise
Neat that you thought that, like NR did. That's why I love your prompts! They always surprise me when I start to write...
DeleteCool that I wasn't the only one who thought Coyote could be a humanoid!
DeleteHi Lisa
ReplyDeleteLoved it. I wondered if the Coyote would morph into a human. I guess the mother deer was staring at the bear.
Nancy
I thought about it, but wanted to stay with the animal part. Yeah, I guess so too, because that part came as a surprise, the stance she took and the bear. Didn't know that was going to happen when I started writing. Love that part of writing, the surprises...
DeleteHi Lisa .. wonderful bush story ... animals are amazing at how long they can wait immobile .. and dinner is a necessity. Poor coyote had a few lessons that day didn't he ... and for us - keep our wits about us, we never know what is heading our way in the publishing world .. or just life in general. Take care .. and this has sent off into coyote lands ... cheers Hilary
ReplyDeleteThanks Hilary, it was fun to write. I love what Denise comes up with for us to write about...
DeleteGreat writing, really felt as though I was in the moment with the coyote. A wonderful take on the prompt.
ReplyDeleteThanks Sally, glad you enjoyed it!
DeleteThis coyote had one bad day! Still, I think he was content to have taken the opportunity to find a meal.
ReplyDeleteHe sure did. Glad he didn't end up someone elses meal!
DeleteVery nice! The "hunter" becoming the "hunted". :D
ReplyDeleteLittle twists of fate one thinks one has in hand! Ha ha!
DeleteAnimals with almost human qualities...your story draws the reader in until the end. And yes, there are some chances not worth taking, lol.
ReplyDeleteThanks for coming by and commenting Adura. I love your name and am headed your way. Glad you liked the story...
DeleteLiiiiiisa.
ReplyDeleteLoved this. Adore you! Fun writing. Great pictures. All fabulous. <3
Me too Morgan! Thanks for coming by and commenting!
DeleteSunday August 24th, 2014
ReplyDeleteDear Lisa,
I love this. Great animal story, wonderfully rendered with the predator as POV-character! I'm so glad that you took this route. You have really shown the range of possibilities with the theme of 'taking chances'. In the wild, most hunting parties end in failure. Coyote is a great protagonist and villain. He is also a good sport!
Love the characterization: 'Frozen, as he was, her shiny doe-eyes pierced his concentration as if to say, "I see you. Don’t even think about it."’
And what a surprise-ending for Coyote! He was too distracted to notice the bear.
Thank you so much for your kind words about my story, which was not really that much of a story, but rather the retelling of someone else's memories, I once heard long ago, and just giving it a new framework.
Best wishes,
Anna
I liked the atmosphere you created, tranquil in the setting and tense in the action and a twist in the end. A very refreshing angle on the prompt to use the wild, and a polished flash. True that some chances are not worth the risk :)
ReplyDeleteI was there with my belly on the pine needles too! Very descriptive, but I kept wondering if the bear went after the deer? I hope not, but, even the animals have to eat. LOL Truly, well done!
ReplyDeleteBetter to give up a meal than become one!
ReplyDeleteI know coyotes are scabby creatures, but I feel sorry for this one! But I'm glad he didn't eat the baby. :P
ReplyDeleteNature sucks, sometimes. ;)