IMPORTANT (TO ME) JUNE BIRTHDAY
June is the month of my daughter's birth. She, of course, changed my life with her entrance into the world, as did my son. I love them both so very much; I'm so happy to have had the chance to be a mother, to them, and to my other son, my "step-son". How did that come about? One "step" away? Perhaps. All I know is the heart loves who it loves, and my heart is filled with these three.
My daughter is, for me, more than a child of mine. She is always teaching me to reach for new levels in not only being a mother, but becoming a friend. As a parent, friendship is difficult to cultivate with your child because it's hard not to see all the stages of their lives and judge accordingly. Yet, this year especially, I have learned that I can move into a friendship with my daughter that doesn't take the place of being her mother, but allows us to move into a new place of trust and acknowledgement of her as an adult and me being less judgy. I started going to a therapist in my role as a mother of adult children, to help in this transition because I love my kids so very much and realized I was having a hard time moving beyond being their mother. It isn't that they don't "need" me anymore that way. It's more about learning that I am more than a mother to them and to myself. I want to "be" in their lives, but don't need it the way I thought I did. Basing my worth on them and how they "turned out." I like when they want to call me, or see me. Yet my whole being is not based solely on them and their existence and what they do or don't do. Taking a step away and seeing them as separate from myself has been scary, and healing, and exciting. Old dogs can learn new tricks!
Happy birthday my lovely young woman. I literally love all of you!
My lovely one and all of her selves!
Happy Birthday to your daughter. I love being a mom too and have had a hard time adjusting to not being needed as much since my daughter became an adult.
ReplyDeleteHappy Birthday!! It is hard to move past being mom. We want to protect them from everything like we did when they were little. I had to learn to step back and away a bit and allow them to grow. I suppose they're like plants, they can't grow in the shadow of our hovering. (Hovering was my thing, not assuming you were hovering!)
ReplyDeleteHappy birthday to your daughter! That's great you can be her friend now. My father never moved into that area.
ReplyDeleteWhat a beautiful post! Your daughter sounds fabulous and I love the picture of you together. :) Hope her birthday celebrations are fun.
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